*The woman was seeking a barring order and safety order against her husband.
A woman has told a court that her husband’s attitude is that it is her duty to have sex with him.
At a Family Law Court, the woman was seeking a Barring Order (BO) and a Safety Order against her husband.
In the witness box, the woman also said that her husband’s attitude has been “basically, I was his wife and if he wanted sex he got sex”.
Solicitor, Shiofra Hassett for the woman said that the man “has made reference to this in the presence of children where he has demanded you have sex with him”.
The woman said that this was the case where with one of their children present, the man asked while sitting on a couch at home ‘can we go up and have a ride?’
She said, “I said ‘are you joking?’ There are children in the house’. He was eating a chocolate bar and when I refused he went out to the pub”.
Ms Hassett said that this was very concerning that the man’s request was made in the presence of a small child.
Judge Alec Gabbett said that he hoped the child “would not understand the comment”.
He said, “Thank god. That is the saving grace of that. The child might think they were going for a bicycle ride”.
In the case, Judge Gabbett disallowed the woman to be cross examined on evidence connected to photos the husband had taken of his wife’s private diaries.
The woman said, “He went through all my stuff – found my diary and took pictures of it”.
Judge Gabbett said, “I am not impressed by that”.
Before the couple’s relationship broke down, the two spent a night away at a local seaside resort and solicitor, Mairead Doyle said that her client, the husband had written a positive email about the time away.
Judge Gabbett commented, “Your client sees it as Utopia – she sees it as an episode of Smother – I don’t know where we are”.
Judge Gabbett said that the Barring Order application doesn’t meet the threshold for a Barring Order.
Ms Doyle said that there was no history of violence in the relationship and that the woman is not in fear.
However, Judge Gabbett said that it is patently obvious to him that the children are suffering emotional abuse by the marital breakdown brought on by the man’s excessive drinking.
He said, “It really is concerning that the children are in counselling from all of this – that is a significant issue”.
Ms Doyle said that her client denies that he is an alcoholic but Judge Gabbett said that the man is in thrall to alcohol.
The man already has a health condition and Judge Gabbett told the man that the health condition combined with the excessive drinking “you are holding a revolver to your head with six bullets in the chambers”.
Judge Gabbett said that the couple’s children’s “emotional well-being and emotional safety is in danger”.
The mother said that she has no confidence that her husband will abide by a TUSLA Safety Plan in place for the children.
The woman said if her husband insists on staying at the family home. “I will have to leave the house and I will not subject them to any more of this”.
The woman said, “My children mean the world to me – that is why I am sitting here”.
After a brief adjournment, Ms Hassett said that the two sides have agreed that the man would vacate the family home for the next 12 months and stay away from the home and the barring order application could be adjourned for one year.
Ms Hassett said that her client was consenting to a Safety Order for three years. Ms Hassett said that the couple have also agreed to enter mediation.
Judge Gabbett said that the two sides reaching an agreement was very helpful as in the future they will want to be there for their children on their wedding days and their Leaving Cert days.
