Grief
Most of us understand this state of being. It’s not possible to go through life and escape it. It can arrive in an instant and last for a long time. If we could perhaps buy a way out of it, we would. But how do we quantify the price?
Grief is a deep sorrow or emotional suffering we feel after losing someone or something we deeply care about. It’s not just sadness. It can include a mix of emotions like anger, confusion, guilt, numbness, or even relief depending on the situation.
We mostly associate grief with the loss of a loved one, but it can also come from other losses like the end of a relationship, losing a job, or even a major life change. Grief isn’t linear and it is not the same for everybody. Some cry a lot, some don’t cry. Some feel it immediately, for others it can take months, even years.
The mind-body process of grief is complex and deeply interconnectedโemotionally, physically, and even neurologically.
Mentally and Emotionally
The sadness, anger, guiltโas these sink in, our mind cycles through intense emotions. We can feel several emotions at once and fluctuate between them. It’s not a nice place to be, even within one day going from intense hardness to anger and frustration to uncontrollable tears.
Disorientation
It feels like the world is surreal or out of sync. A sense of being ungrounded.
Searching and Yearning
The brain might replay old memories or imagine what couldโve been, forcing us to reconnect with what’s gone.
Cognitive Fog
An inability to concentrate, feeling detached, experiencing forgetfulnessโthis happens as the brain is overloaded trying to process the pain.
Physically
Fatigueโthe energy it takes to grieve is exhausting and can take its toll on the body. Sleep and appetite both can be altered with grief, either too much or too little.
Tightness or Pain
Physical symptoms like tightness in the chest, headaches, and stomach issues. Our bodies hold emotional tension.
Neurologically
Long-term grief can literally reshape neurological pathways. Cortisol and adrenaline rise with emotional stress, which affects mood, memory, and bodily function.
How Do We Get Over Grief?
If there was a button we could press to alleviate the pain, discomfort, emotionsโwe would press it!
I suggest some practical avenues based on life experience and what I have seen in the clinic. Firstly, there is no one-size-fits-all remedy. Everyone’s journey of grief is their own journey. None of these journeys we chooseโhowever, itโs a journey we all must take.
Take it at your paceโwhatever way it is presenting is how it is for you. You don’t have to carry it alone. Speak to a friend, family member, neighbour, therapist, or journal. Try and take good care of your body. Walking and being in nature is so grounding and supportive. Sleep well, eat well, move well, and good hydration is a good foundation.
Having a ritual like lighting a candle or journaling, visiting certain placesโcan be great to bring connection and inner peace. Each day is different. Some are overwhelming, another a little lighter.
Healing from grief takes time, and it’s okay to laugh along the wayโit doesn’t mean you have forgotten. The combination therapies at the clinic are extremely supportive at this time in life.
โGrief is the price we pay for love.โ
