The Dalai Lama said “if you want others to be happy practice compassion if you want to be happy practice compassion.”
I was in a queue in a supermarket last week and at the checkout was a senior lady who was stooping down to remove her shopping from her small trolly and place them on the belt. A teenage girl and her mom where in the que in front of me. The girl asked her mom if she should help the lady? Her mom said “yes”. The young girl proceeded to ask the lady if she would like some help with her shopping. The lady was delighted and smiled as she said” thank you that would be great”. I observed as the young girl taking all the ladies shopping out of the trolly. It was beautiful to watch, both were vulnerable the key ingredient was the teenage girl’s ability to have compassion for the mature lady. Her awareness around her need and her kindness and desire to help. A true example of compassion.
Compassion is the ability to understand and feel concern for the suffering or struggle of others, paired with a desire to help alleviate that pain. It’s more than just empathy, which is a feeling of someone else emotions – it involves actively wanting to make a positive difference in the situation. Compassion often leads to action, whether small or large, its the supports or comfort given in times of need. It’s rooted in kindness, patience, and deep sense of connection to others.
At the heart of the exploration of compassion must be our ability to care for ourselves. To effectively take care of others we must first take care of ourselves. Just as we empathize with others suffering, we must also show ourselves the same level of understanding and patience in times of personal growth. Is this not a concept that we could explore! By enhancing our ability to be self-compassionate we can reduce negative self-talk which in turn leads to improved mental health bring self-kindness and an explosion of self-awareness.
It is coming to the end of January 2025 and most of us have set goal, perhaps some are doing great, and some have yet to start. What a great opportunity as we start into February, the arrival of Valentines and the celebration of love to embark on a journey of self-compassion.
5 ways to practise self-compassion
1.Treat yourself as your best friend: How do you speak to yourself? Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself. Becoming aware of how we speak to ourselves and taking steps to change the inner dialogue, removing the inner critic, changing the words we use about ourselves, create positive thoughts.
2.Practice Mindfulness: Begin by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations in the present moment. Notice your stress, negative self -talk without judgement, observe what is happening, just bringing awareness.
3.Embrace your imperfections: Self- compassion is about giving ourselves permission to be human, to cultivate a new perspective about ourselves. Perhaps allowing ourselves to make mistakes, it does not define you it is part of who we are. Instead of having a sense of push and pull about ourselves we could just allow. We can change our perspective on personal inner conflict, judgement and opinions.
4.Practice Kindness: Self-kindness is about having an understanding about ourselves when we fail at something or when we hurt emotionally and bring awareness to it. Be gentle with yourself. Prioritize your own well-being and nurture a positive supportive relationship with yourself.
5.Journaling: A powerful tool to help bring understanding to your thoughts emotions and behaviours leading to greater self- awareness and understanding. When we read it back it brings personal reality to the forefront.
Compassion benefits both the person offering it and the one receiving it. It’s a reminder that caring and kindness for others can create a sense of fulfilment and happiness.
